Over the past few generations we have moved from a ‘breadwinner – homemaker’ family system to one where both adults and parents assume full time vocations. So, instead of two jobs in a family, we now have three. If we add children to the mix, there is a fourth job – child rearing. Precious time […]

You don’t speak up when you know you should. You often feel guilty about disappointing someone else. You aren’t sure you can do something new, so you decide not to try it. You let others take advantage of you. You are sometimes shy about letting people get to know you. You often don’t let others […]

As the TV ad says, “You are all surfing, googling, tweeting, and gaming,” but this can cross the line and become an Internet “addiction” or compulsion. Here are some signs of web addiction/compulsion: Am I spending more time online than with friends and family? Do I feel depressed when not net connected? Is my avatar […]

We often think of our success or failure in reaching our therapeutic goals as dependent on the therapist’s work, or our own ability to use the counseling effectively. While these situations can occur, most of the time our lack of progress is related to communication. Here are some ways to increase the effectiveness of your […]

Hidden in the romance and feelings leading a couple to marry there are important issues that can determine the success or failure of the relationship. We may want to believe that “love conquers all,” and certainly love is an important ingredient in a happy marriage. However, several other less romantic factors will affect the durability […]

As John Gottman says in his book, The Science of Trust, “Every couple, in their daily life together, messes up communication, and every relationship has a potential ‘dark side.’ ” It’s too much to expect that we can always have good communication with our partner. There are always misunderstandings, stress, distractions, hurt or angry feelings, […]

Most people have heard of some type of group: a grief group, AA, divorce group, prayer group, feminist group, support group, maleness group (with drums!), looking-for-work group, singles group, a yoga group and so on. Each of these groups has merit and can be helpful to some folk. A psychotherapy group is different from these […]

The country’s foremost relationship expert, John Gottman, PhD, has discovered through years of research four things that some couples do which reliably predict divorce ahead for them unless they recognize and change these things. Harsh Startup The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalyse” Flooding The Body Language of Emotional Distress Let’s look at each one. Harsh […]